The Poisoned Ink Well

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Gary April 2005
my house on Sleepy Valley
in Hot Springs

u were laughing in your sleep
Chuckling in between snores
You slept with your eyes open
Kind of a strange trait
If you were snoring then I knew you were asleep
The next morning
You said you were dreaming about champagne wells
All so improbable
You said
Some people you didn’t recognize
Were digging a well
And they hit a geyser
And champagne came gushing up
out of the ground
(land of milk and honey? Heaven has champagne wells)

And it was so funny
That you couldn’t believe it
And that’s why you were still laughing
And later as you slept
You said you dreamt that your step mother
And father stood at the foot
Of your bed
Not saying anything
Or looking any different after death
Just standing there staring at you
And then you woke up

All in one night
But it was a good night
That night
Because you weren’t hurting

Gay people pray
Gay people believe in God
and every night and morning
you said a prayer
all the way to the last day of your life
on may 13, 2005
and you would hold my hand
and you always included me
and you made me feel so special
worthy of prayer and even blessings
but we couldn't go to church
you and I
not here in arkansas
because the hatred and ignorance
spewed from the pulpits
about being gay

made me nauseated
like all these right wings
bible beaters
can think of is sodomy.
and if
Heaven is a spiritual plane
without hormones or flesh
would our earthly body chemistry
even matter

I mean really what if
Heaven is chock full of sweet people like you
(I hope)
They can't put you in hell
you'd make it too nice of a place
you, my friend
who happened to be gay on this earth
what will those preachers of hate and intolerence say
if you stand next to God
and St Peter is flying a rainbow flag

I remember the first time I met you
in Baton Rouge
I was 16 and you were 17
Your brother macho Mitch introduced us
And you came flying into the room
Almost on a mission
Moving about the apartment and talking so quickly
From one project to the next
Showing off new shoes
A flower arrangement
What you were cooking for dinner

You were so pale
hair so blonde almost white
5'11 130 pounds
Your body and your hair seemed to blend into the walls
Except for when the light
would bounce off your skin
And make you glow
Your eyes were sky blue
You were like a woodland sprite
A true fairy
An air of cheery other worldliness
Hung about you
Your feet rarely touched the ground
As you competed with the sunshine
with your smile
Always laughing
back in those days
that’s the first thing that I remember about you.
Later that night we were already best friends
Sitting in an empty gay bar
called The Emporium
on Highland Road
just outside the gates of LSU
On a Monday light
Listening to what ever pleased the DJ
And getting up to gyrate on the lit dance floor
Just you and me

I still miss you