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Amendment I Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and petition the Government for a redress of grievances.
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Before Ohio
The delusion is that we have any life at all
That any of us are different
That we really have any control
Over anything
We are just holding up bags of skin
For a short, short time, animated, real life
We don’t own ourselves or our lives
We don’t belong to ourselves
I was thinking about OHIO
No I was really thinking about life
I have come to one conclusion though
After being held down beaten twisted turned bruised and injured one more time
I DON’T LIKE MEN
I DON’T LIKE THEM
I don’t need a relationship or want one
I don’t want to fuck
I don’t want to touch
I don’t want to be touched
I don’t want men any where near me at all
Right now
To think of men as anything except brute force
at this point in my life I would be disingenuous to even
Go for a quickie
Hot sweaty sunny
Lunchtime
Romp
Between the thrust glancing at the clock on the wall to see
Between the sheets
Between paychecks
The timing is so important
Wasn’t it 12:45?
Hurry, hurry, hurry,
Living life by a Time Clock
Muscular men, big shoulders, rough hands,
Inked initials on a time card
Another woman’s name on your arm
Push it in
Sex in between
Another notch on your barrel
Mel
Pain (Life without pain medication)
It makes you draw further and further within
Hoping to disappear in soft flickering candle light
The purr of electric fans and the TV on just for the murmurs
If everyday could be
Like this
To the point of
No
No I am not home
No I’m not going anywhere
No
Leave me alone
Alone
Loud noises are not allowed
No bright lights
No anger
Everything boring moving slow
And
No
I’m not home
Go away
Please
\
Quiet static fills the air like happy voices
I do not want people around
I don’t trust
I don’t like
I am too old for this
I think about a cabin
Somewhere away from
Everybody
I could be a hermit
Complicated people fill my day
Litter my drive
I hate apartments
Arguments
Crack, crank, and god knows what else
I don’t want to know them
Why do they want to know me?